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Food-service is just as soul-crushing as I remember it. I don't even hate cooking stuff on a grill, it's just.. walking back into that kitchen was so claustrophobic I thought I was going to be sick right there? Do I have the chops to perform in a fast food environment? Certainly! Will it eventually drive me to suicide? ...Probably. But hopefully it won't be SO terrible. I've only had one day there thus far and that day was at a computer learning how to make the various hamburgers they have. I know one thing, though. I'm not going to crave it often. i might crave their shakes but that's about iiiit.

Boyfriend's house is old, but delightful. His mom is amazing (she plays WoW too!) and his friends are strangely interested in me because I'm dating him. I'm fairly certain they'll slit my throat if anything happens to Simon, but they needn't worry about that. People like me don't get such amazing and likable people interested in them - and I sure as hell am not going to throw that away.

What I don't like about his house is his fucking DOG. He has three, but one of them is awful. The likable one is Shadow, a cockapoo. He's adorable at best and easy to ignore. There's Paws, a fully-grown yellow lab that is, for the most part, well-behaved. Until he gets in fights with Misty. Now Misty is HELL. She's quite literally an old bitch and oooooh she HATES ME. Despite being a well-behaved dog she snaps at me and refuses to let me anywhere in the house until everyone fucking yells at her to chases her off. The other dogs and his cats are completely okay with me, which is the odd part.

He has four cats. There's Bandit, the gray and white that is generally up our asses. No really. He tried to make love to my pants on day one. Normally he sleeps with us. There's ...Keely? He's an orange tabby and delightfully cute. It took him a couple of days to warm up to me but now I only need to invite him in before he'll be all up in my grill. There's Buddy, a really old black and white shorthair. He talks a lot and likes to visit sometimes. There's Felix, a large longhair black and white - I haven't really met him yet.

So I found out the co-workers from Target whom I thought hated me actually DON'T, which is good. If anything they want me to open up more. Hell, the one I thought was most intimidating of all was talking to boyfriend at work last night and said, "Oh you're with Sarah now? Tell her I said hi." ...wat. He really doesn't talk to me. In fact he's usually in a foul mood just from working with whom he does. But I've done nothing but work my ass off when he's around - because that's all he does. He's the fastest worker and I want to be that fast, so I don't mess around and I get my shit done. I initially wanted to earn his respect, but he at least doesn't hate me. That's good enough! LOL.

I like where Boyfriend and I are going, and I guess I'm just afraid I'll lose it. I keep having fucking nightmares about it. ;-;

Current Mood: amused

( Yup )

Jeez uhm. Yup. I uh.

Soooo we hung out yesterday and watched Heroes and hockey. Heroes makes you think. And I haven't exercised my mind in SO LONG so it was a relief to be able to do so again. I worked out the entire plot of the first season by the first couple of episodes - which apparently blew his mind. It's an interesting series and I'm glad he showed it to me.

By game time I was nodding off, so he let me come lay down next to him. I won't lie, I was hoping he would. Nothing sexual happened - and I wouldn't have anyway.

Since I mentally relaxed around him, I stopped trying to hold back my thoughts and feelings and wham I crashed into this wall of physical desire that disturbed me. Some months ago I had a crazy dream that some man was nuzzling my face or something and he had a very, very short beard. Looking at Simon well, he had the same thing. I was like why yes I do in fact want to touch that. I didn't let myself do so but man it was tempting. VERY TEMPTING good GOD. I'm a terrible person right? For being so terrified of physical contact nothing felt gross about it. I'm pretty sure I felt his feet touch mine and I normally LOATHE feet.

WHY AM I OKAY WITH THIS?

I can't wait until I go to work tomorrow night. We have the same schedule. :/

Current Mood: giddy

So apparently one of my co-workers asked me out. He's nice and we get along, so I agreed. He plays WoW too, so we hung out there for awhile and I learned that Trolls are his favorite race. Fuck. Yes. Oh my god. I'm one of the only people I know that loves Trolls and I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE. ;__;

He's about three, maybe four years older than me, but it could be worse. I'm happy for once that he's older than me instead of younger. But yeah if all goes well and maybe he wasn't actually joking or something I guess I go on a date on Tuesday? Shit son.

Man I haven't been on a date since... 2010?

Oh and I think the best part is he isn't eighty million feet tall. He's like.. maybe six feet? MAYBE. I don't even think he's quite six feet. I dunno, I like him, he's nice enough, we like a lot of the same things AND HE FUCKING LOVES TROLLS.

So yeah, I'll give him a chance I guess.

Gotta get the apartment ready for potential sweet bro hangouts. Assuming his passport is accepted. Here's hoping!

Either way, we've got to clear out these boxes, get the carpet thoroughly cleaned, maybe get a comfy thing to sit on if possible and I think I want a sleeping bag or something.

The Hobbit was (as predicted) sold out. It probably will be for a LONG time. I have no problem avoiding a tiny, cramped theater room full of crying babies and body odor. Fuck that. I don't care about waiting until it comes out on dvd either.

Nothing major to update. Lawlawlawlawl.

Though Trevv might be able to come visit after February? Or IN February. Which would be great. I like Sweet Bro Hangouts. ALL THE SHIT THE FOUR OF US WILL DO.

By that I mean probably hang out, play video games, and maybe take a walk or just go drive somewhere. I hope he can put up with all of us. I know Kash will dive-bomb hug him which will be entertaining as hell to see.

Current Mood: excited

Either today or tomorrow, Claw, Kash, and myself are going to go see The Hobbit. Assuming it's not STILL sold out. I certainly hope it's not.

Delightful music by Tragically Hip. I mean I'm not Canadian or anything but holy balls it's lovely.

- - -

1. If someone were to write about your life thus far, do you think the book would be a success? What parts of the book would make you cringe, and which parts would you be proud of?
-- Let more stuff happen first. Right now I can't see it being interesting.

2. Are you subscribed to anyone other than survey takers on your Xanga/LJ? If so, what kind of blogs are they? If not, would you ever consider subbing to a non-survey taker?
-- I'm not on LJ anymoooooore! But yeah I'll sub to just about anyone as long as they aren't... porn? Hentai? Whatever.

3. In general do you think you’re a likable person? Why?
-- Probably not! I think I'm an acquired taste in some cases.

4. Do you think it’s okay to have a “Black People Meet.com” and not a “White People Meet.com?” Explain.
-- I don't really care if they had both or not.

5. Do you remember the old MTV show Room Raiders? What do you people would think about you judging off your room alone?
-- I remember when MTV was actually music.

6. When you sit down to watch a movie do you watch it the whole way through even if it isn’t that good? Or do you just give up and do something else?
-- I'll go find something else.

7. Name 5 things you don’t believe in.
-- I believe in way too much.

8. Are you hard or easy to make friends with? Do you think this is reflected in the amount of friends you have now?
-- It's not easy to make friends with me, mostly because I'm just a loner by nature. You pretty much have to force me to socialize these days.

9. Do you have any interest in mythology of any kind? If so, what do you like about it most? If not, what is/was your favorite period to study in history class?
-- Far too much of one. My favorite one to study was uhmm.. buhh no clue.

10. Do you ever experience second-hand embarrassment while watching movies or reading books?
-- I have, though it's rare.

11. Are there any movies or books you’d have your children/future children watch/read that you enjoyed when you were a kid?
-- Oh definitely! But I don't plan on having children, so maybe I'll bother all my friends' kids.

12. Have you ever gotten a comment on Xanga/LJ only to first discover it long after the person originally posted it? Did you respond in the end despite how much time passed?
-- Maybe? I can't recall.

13. What do you think of the semi-new way Xanga counts page views?
-- I don't pay attention.

14. When you see an attractive member of your preferred sex, what’s the likelihood of you going up to them to start up a conversation?
-- I leave that stuff up to fate and don't bother with it myself. Throughout my life, nine times out of ten they're already taken or have no interest in someone like me, so I usually ignore it and move on. It passes and fades away to general annoyance after awhile. Well normally.

15. How was your day today? Did anything interesting happen?
-- No.

16. Are you guilty of giving people ‘death glares’ when you’re angry or are you able to keep your composure?
-- I have on occasion.

17. How often do you take old surveys that you’ve already taken? What makes you re-take them again?
-- Rarely.

18. Can you think of any desserts or foods that everyone else seems to rave about but you dislike?
-- My roommates rave about peppers and onions. I nope awaaaay.

19. Are you a believer in conspiracy theories (9/11, Sandy Hook, Putting a man on the moon, etc.)?
-- I think they're interesting.

20. Was your high school nearly as catty as the ones typically shown in movies and on TV? How was it similar, and how was it different?
-- Not really. I didn't bother with the social aspect of high school.

21. If you had all the money you needed and didn’t have to work, what would you do to fill your time?
-- Get a part time job to keep moving, I don't know. I'd find stuff to do.

22. Do you ever get nervous about where your future is headed or are you just going with the flow?
-- Always. But I have no choice...

23. Even if you think where you live sucks, list 3 things that are positive about it.
-- I don't live with my parents. I love the area. I love my job (normally).

24. If someone you care about is being mean to you, how do you react?
-- :| Tell him/her to knock that shit off unless it's deserved. By that I mean if they're reprimanding or angry at me if I did something stupid.

If you came here from my Livejournal, it's nice to see you again!

... Oh wait, I can't see you.

Either way.

This is a new chapter in my life. Or at least, I hope it will. In a couple of days, I'll be getting a call from McDonalds - my second job - and hopefully I will do well as a fast-food slave. I don't enjoy the thought of having such a job, but beggars can't be choosers. If all goes well, I will find my way out on my own. Then I won't have to rely on anyone anymore.

I do have some specific goals in mind. One such is learning to play the guitar. It's said if you play the guitar for a year, you can play for the rest of your life. I've got to try and get something done.

My other goal is to get a car. I can legally drive - and could for a long time. But I don't own a car. So, my first major goal is to save enough money to buy a car.

I've also got to pay off my laptop, which I want to hopefully do in six months. I'm going to try and get credit as well. That's probably the first thing I need to do.

After that, I've got to find a way out. There's plenty of apartments, but the fact of the matter is I can't legally play an electric guitar in most apartments. No, I need a house I can rent. That's going to take credit - good credit in fact. If I have to live in an apartment for a lease period until I can move into a house, that's just how it has to be. But I'll need credit to get into an apartment too. So, I need to start now.

So it goes.

Actually, this morning I got my 90 day review from Target! I scored average or very high and met all expectations. I'm very excited about that. I was right, though - they REALLY pay attention to their employees. The only thing my team leader really stressed was that I have to start getting more involved with my co-workers. As it is I'm pretty shy and quiet, while they are loud, boisterous, and at times volatile. I've got to join in on the fun, and that's not an easy thing for me.

But it will help me build relationships with my co-workers, and that's definitely important.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Pearl Jam - Even Flow

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Ella Kraken

February 2013

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Tentacles!

A Hentai-Free Blog

Recent Entries

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Uhhh. Okay

Preparationssss.

Media and Surveys.

First entry! Goals and 90 Day Review!